A daughter of İskender Aznaurov reflects on pride and absence, carrying her father’s heroic legacy while living with an unhealed longing for him.
This interview with the daughter of İskender Aznaurov presents a deeply personal narrative where pride and absence coexist; while she carries the honor of her father’s heroic legacy, she also lives with an unhealed sense of longing for him, describing herself not only as “the daughter of a hero” but also as an ordinary child who misses her father, and reflecting on Karabakh, war, loss, and the future in a way that reveals how pride and emptiness intertwine, ultimately portraying the quiet human weight of growing up without a father and the incompleteness that even victory cannot resolve.
An interview with Adalet Aznaurova by Dr. Mustafa Akman, İstanbul
Between Two Emotions
“These two feelings are like two separate sides of my life. One keeps me standing, the other leaves an emptiness inside me that is never filled.”
Sometimes a single sentence is enough to describe an entire life.
This interview is not just the story of a hero, but the trace of a life growing in the absence of that hero.
İskender Aznaurov was an Azerbaijani National Hero known for his bravery during the First Nagorno-Karabakh War. Born in 1956 in Uzbekistan, he later moved to Azerbaijan and joined the struggle for the country’s territorial integrity and independence. He voluntarily took part in frontline combat operations and played an active role in the clashes, particularly in the Aghdam region. Aznaurov was killed in action in 1993 during the Karabakh conflict and is remembered in Azerbaijan as a symbol of patriotism, sacrifice, and courage.
Identity and Emotional Conflict
– What is it like carrying these two emotions at the same time?
“Carrying these two emotions… is like living as two different people at once. From the outside, I am part of a story people admire. But inside, I am just a girl who misses her father.”
– How do you define yourself?
“For a long time, I defined myself as ‘the daughter of a hero’ because that is how everyone saw me. But over time, I realized I also have to build my own identity while carrying his legacy.”
Not just a “Hero”, but also a “Father”
– Everyone knows him as a hero. Who was he to you?
“He may be a hero to everyone… but to me, he was simply my father. A man who loved me, stroked my hair, sometimes smiled, sometimes stayed silent.”
– What was he like at home?
“At home, he was calmer. Unlike his strong presence outside, he had a softer side. He didn’t speak much, but his presence was enough.”
– If you had to describe him in three words?
“If I had to describe him in three words: protective, quiet, compassionate.”
– What comes to your mind when you miss him?
“When I miss him, I always remember a small moment… a simple day we spent together. Because the most precious things are those ordinary moments.”
The Price of Pride
– What did you feel when you first heard he was going to war?
“When I first heard about his decision to go to war, I don’t fully remember what I felt… but I had fear inside me. I was young, but I felt this was not an ordinary departure.”
– Was there a moment you felt he would not return?
“A moment I felt he might not return… maybe during the farewell. Some goodbyes settle inside you differently, as if something leaves you in that moment.”
Trying to Define the Indefinable
– What does “absence” mean to you?
“Absence… is not just emptiness. It is more like an unfinished sentence. No matter how long you live, it never completes itself.”
– Can pride and sadness exist together?
“Yes, a person can feel both pride and sadness at the same time. I have felt that. I am proud of him, but I also cannot stop myself from thinking, ‘I wish he were here.’”
– When was his absence felt the most?
“His absence was felt most… in important moments. In success, in failure, in uncertainty. Because at certain moments, a person only needs their father.”
Growing Up Incomplete
– What does it mean to grow up incomplete?
“It means always being one step behind in life. Realizing things others take for granted much later… feeling someone’s absence most deeply where they should have been.
It is not only missing someone; it is also missing the possibilities that could have been lived with them.”
Karabakh – Geography or Memory?
– What does Karabakh mean to you?
“For me, Karabakh is much more than a place on a map. It is a memory… a story… and also a responsibility.”
– Would this meaning be different if your father had not been part of it?
“If my father had not been part of that struggle, Karabakh might not carry such deep meaning for me. But now, because it was part of his life, it has become an inseparable part of mine.”
A Peace Without a Father
– What does peace mean to you?
“Peace… is not just an ending for me, but also an absence. Because my father is not inside that peace. So it feels somewhat incomplete, somewhat silent.”
– Can future generations understand this pain without living it?
“Future generations may not live this pain directly… but they also do not need to feel it. What matters is that they understand its value so it is never repeated.”
– What kind of Karabakh do you want to see in the future?
“What I want most for Karabakh’s future is… a life where people no longer lose loved ones. A place where memories are remembered not only with pain, but also with hope.”
A Life Carried Forward
– What is the heaviest burden you carry?
“The heaviest burden I carry about my father… is having to accept his absence. And sometimes, feeling the need to be strong in his name.”
– What is his greatest gift to you?
“His greatest gift is pride. Being his daughter gives me strength despite everything.”
– What if he is forgotten?
“If people forget him… it is not only my loss, but everyone’s loss. Because some people belong not only to their families, but to a whole society. Being forgotten would be like a second loss.”
More Question Than Answer
– If you could say one sentence to him today?
“If I had the chance to say just one sentence to him today… I would say: ‘I wish you had stayed a little longer.’”
– If he could see you today?
“If he could see me today… I think he would be most proud of how hard I try to stay strong.”
– Finally…
“Being the daughter of a hero is difficult… but living without that hero is far more difficult.”
The Question Inside Silence
As the interview ends, a sentence from another time echoes in my mind.
A voice heard in the silence that followed the Cyprus Peace Operation:
“Victory… yes. But will the lost lives ever return?”
Perhaps this is the missing sentence inside every victory.
And perhaps some lives continue precisely with the weight of unanswered questions.
